Sensual Soak
I spiraled into the most delicious portal while taking a bath the night before last.
I hope to capture the gratitude I feel for experiencing such magical moments with, and within, myself.
It was a deeply beautiful and powerful feeling to simply be with myself—breathing, enduring the heat, oscillating between music and silence.
As I sank deeper and deeper into the water, I sank deeper and deeper into my consciousness, thoughts melting away as I allowed varying sensations to take over—trusting myself, the flow of energy, and the moment. Breathing steadily, judgment was released with every exhale. Assigning a name to this experience was of little importance to me. I remained open and present, in a posture of receivership, primed for learning through the experience of a dimension that remains inaccessible at my daily pace.
Being in the tub was different from being on solid ground. The water allowed me to relax my vessel deeply and anchor my mind—to slow down and become more liquid. In this new environment, my instincts were different. Taking my time with water splashing, bubbles surfacing, incense smoke and steam combining in a swirl… soaking in my own energy began to generate a vortex of sorts. Relaxing even deeper, I felt the heat not only around me but within me. Hips undulating, I continued this energetic exploration—hearing and feeling myself breathe faster, heat rising, eyes closed, giving in to the moment of pure pleasure, touching myself slowly, allowing the movement of energy to inform the movement of my body.
Contorting intuitively, I shifted my body into various shapes. Arching my back slowly, chest rising and falling, I dipped my head back and moved my hands languidly down the curves of my waistline. I was accompanied by the light sloshing of water in all directions in response to my movement—a gentle, rhythmic back and forth that felt like whispered conversation.
Caressing myself, I didn’t have to think loving thoughts—I became them. Shifting to sit up in the bath, my back against the wall of the tub, legs stretched out before me, and with heightened sensitivity, I listened intently, inside and out, trusting, following, and responding with my breath, touch, feeling, and acceptance—loving myself. Beads of water sliding down my thighs, I could feel a hot, familiar coil of energy begin to swirl in my lower belly. Deeper than sexual, this energy was far more primal and encompassing.
“There’s fire here,” I realized, instantly becoming aware of the invitation to experience beyond the limitations of cheap self-gratification and expand into self-discovery. There was more to learn about myself. There was information held within my body that was beginning to emerge, and here was a cosmic opportunity to integrate it further.
I took yet another deep breath and focused my mind solely on my held breath, momentarily sobering to the moment. I checked in with myself, sensing the mystery lying on the other side of my consent.
“Yes,” I answered on an exhale, leaning my head back against the wall while feeling the last bit of tension release from my body. All at once, my shoulders dropped, back arched further, hips followed knees in opening up, and a singular, sacred octave of bliss, liberation, beauty, passion, and power burst forth in the form of a moan.
Marinating in this divine chalice of magic and mystery, I shuddered in gratitude.
I felt amazing—so open and attuned to my own energetic frequency, in a private chamber free of guilt, shame, and judgment. Any lingering presence of fear, doubt, or hesitation was neutralized with the next delicious flow of oxygen to my brain, my cellular body nourished and pumping blood to my heart, which I could feel blooming and radiating… in… my chest…
